Influence People? Part 3 Chapter 6 How to Handle Complaints.
Most Persons when trying to win someone to their way of thinking do most of the talking.
Let the Other Person do A GREAT DEAL OF THE TALKING. (WHICH Basically Means Listen, STOP TALKING, and LISTEN) Let the Other People talk themselves out.
They know more about their business and problems than you do. So ask them questions. Let them tell you a few things.
If You Disagree with them you may be TEMPTED to Interrupt. But Don't. It's Dangerous.
They won't pay Attention to You while They Still Have A Lot of Ideas of Their Own Crying for Expression. (Listen, And Don't Talk).
So Listen patiently and with an Open Mind. Be sincere about it. Encourage Them to Express their Ideas Fully.
San Diego Plumber mentions a Mother daughter relationship.
In a story about a Mother daughter relationship, which was quickly deteriorating because the mother didn't realize that she would never listen to her daughter but would only give her commands, or lecture her, or threaten her and punish her daughter's uncooperative, sometimes belligerent teenager.
One Day the daughter had disobeyed the mother and had left the house to visit her girl friend before completing her chores.
When upon returning the mother was about to start screaming at her daughter and asked her "Why, Laurie, Why?' (the teenager)
"Laurie noted my condition (The Mother) and in a calm voice asked, Do You really want to know?
I nodded and Laurie, first hesitantly, and then it ALL FLOWED OUT.
I had never LISTENED TO HER. WHEN SHE WANTED to TELL ME HER THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, IDEAS, I INTERRUPTED WITH MORE ORDERS.
I BEGAN to REALIZE THAT SHE NEEDED ME---NOT AS A BOSSY MOTHER. but as a CONFIDANTE, an OUTLET for all her confusion about growing up.
And all I had been DOING was TALKING WHEN I SHOULD HAVE BEEN LISTENING. I NEVER HEARD HER."
"FROM that time on I let HER DO ALL THE TALKING SHE WANTED. SHE TELLS ME WHAT IS ON HER MIND, AND OUR RELATIONSHIP HAS IMPROVED IMMEASURABLY. SHE is a Cooperative Person."
San Diego Plumber mentions A Best Liked Placement Counselor.
In another story about a best-liked placement counselor in a Midtown Personnel Agency in New York, Henrietta G.
Although when she started it was not that way, WHAT TURNED THINGS AROUND at her work?
Well at First When She (Henrietta) started work she was not very well liked it seemed she new how to do her work and she would tell the other workers, about her achievements.
Basically at first she would brag to her co-workers about her TRIUMPHS. But after taking the course on getting along better with people.
SHE BEGAN to TALK LESS ABOUT HERSELF, and LISTEN TO HER ASSOCIATES and which they were excited and pleased to talk about their accomplishments.
She would only mention her accomplishments when SHE WAS ASKED.
Yes, even OUR FRIENDS would much rather talk to us about THEIR ACHIEVEMENTS than listen to us boast about ours.
La Rochefoucauld, the French philosopher, said "IF YOU WANT ENEMIES, EXCEL YOUR FRIENDS, BUT IF YOU WANT FRIENDS, LET YOUR FRIENDS EXCEL YOU." (TALK AS LEAST ABOUT YOURSELF AS POSSIBLE.)
P.S. Please follow along as we review (will review a chapter every 3 or 4 days or weekly) the book How to Win Friends and Influence People. Thank You GOD Bless.
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